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※ 以下の添削は584文字、チケット3枚のご利用です

受信日時:2024 / 07 / 12 15:16:47   グレード: grade grade grade grade
Marcel
名前
Marcel Morin
日本のココが好き
Onsens
国籍
Canadian
日本のココがちょっと
Summer
教師哲学
Just do it!!!
好きな言葉
Life, Love, and the Universe
blue mark 課題 2010/7 No.2

(この課題はレビューです)

最近見た映画のレビューを書いてください。映画館で見たものでも、テレビやDVDで見たものでもかまいません。 どんな映画であるのか簡単な説明を入れると共に、映画の好きな(おすすめ)点、 きらいな(おすすめできない)点などを具体的に挙げてください。

修正済センテンス
01.

Angels & Demons 

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I've recently watched the DVD "Angels & Demons". Although My expectation was quite high because I enjoyed the previous work "The Da Vinci Code" very much and it was directed by the same person. I was very satisfied the movies as well as the previous one

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The story "Angels and Demons" is about religion vs. science at the beginning but both show the assimilation science and religion kind of assimilate at the end. The main character Robert Langdon solves the difficult questions hidden in historical symbols one by one. There were some of the harsh murder scenes I didn't like, but overall the story was well thought out, and the actors and actresses were wonderful. What I liked was this fiction was being made like a non fiction story seemed real.

06.

My interest in the history of religion and science increased a lot. I recommend anyone everyone to watch it.

紫:変更されたワード赤:付加された必要ワード緑:不必要なワード青:意味が解りづらいもの青緑: Impressive!(自然/クリエイティブな表現)
先生からのコメント
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03.

Remove 'although' so you don't have to put all the information into one sentence. It's easier to understand if you don't put too much information in a single sentence.

 

All you need is the title to the previous movie.

 

You should give a reason why your expectations were high.

 

We don't usually use 'satisfied' to refer to how we feel about a movie. You could use 'I loved both movies' or 'Both movies were really good'.

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05.

You mention two movies in the first paragraph so you need to make it clear which movie you are talking about.

 

You can use the verb (assimilate) to be more direct and to the point.

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You can use present tense (solves) to make the story more alive.

 

We usually use 'actor' for both men and women.

 

'Fiction' and 'nonfiction' are more commonly used as genres.

06.

We usually use 'everyone' in a positive sentence.

 

Nice work. I enjoyed both of the movies as well.

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